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Midlifecurious is a newsletter for women navigating midlife—honest, funny, and allergic to being talked down to. Its Sunday issue, the Midlife Missive, is a roundup covering health, wellness, money, beauty, and family. My sister, Claire, edits it; I build the machine behind it. That machine is Missive, a five-part publishing intelligence system that runs the newsletter as one closed loop: scan → triage → publish → measure → remember. It monitors Reddit, search trends, and RSS to identify what midlife women are paying attention to before those topics reach our feeds. Discovery pulls in those sources, ranks every feed using a click-rate-based quality score, and lets Claire triage articles into the week’s issue. Curation composes Sunday’s newsletter and drafts the introduction in her voice. Performance reads the Mailchimp results back into the system and feeds them into the rankings, so strong sources rise and weak ones fall over time. Underneath all four stages is Memory: a vector-searchable corpus of every article, save, rejection, and the reasoning behind each decision. Memory is the real spine of the system. It lets Missive ask editorial questions such as “Have we covered this before?” and “Is this source still earning its slot?” instead of requiring one person to hold everything in her head. We’re a two-person operation: I build with Claude Code, and Claire edits. The system runs on one database for under $25 a month. I built it because the alternative was Claire drowning in a Feedly-and-spreadsheet routine that discarded everything as soon as an issue shipped. We had no record of what we had run and no feedback on what actually landed. My bet is that the corpus is the moat. Claire’s editorial taste—every save, rejection, and “cornerstone” stamp, with the reasoning stored alongside the decision—is a training set no one else has. A system that remembers turns her job from synthesizer into judge. Missive is deliberately internal-only: no SaaS and no customers, ever. That frees me to build for our exact workflow instead of a hypothetical buyer, and to build for 2028 instead of this quarter. The near-term payoff is a calmer Sunday. The long-term goal is a proprietary editorial-intelligence layer we could never buy off the shelf—the foundation for the research and audience products that come next. Step-by-step: 1. I monitor Reddit, search trends, and RSS for topics that midlife women are paying attention to. 2. I pull those sources into Missive and rank each feed using a click-rate-based quality score. 3. Claire triages the ranked articles into the week’s Midlife Missive. 4. Missive composes Sunday’s newsletter and drafts the introduction in Claire’s voice. 5. I import the Mailchimp results so the system can update source rankings based on performance. 6. Missive stores every article, save, rejection, “cornerstone” stamp, and the reasoning behind each decision in a vector-searchable corpus. 7. We use that memory to check whether a topic has already been covered and whether a source is still earning its place. 8. I build and maintain the internal system with Claude Code, while Claire handles editing, using one database that costs under $25 a month.

Several months ago, my dad was in and out of the hospital. My two brothers and I were trying to coordinate his doctor appointments, manage his medications and potential interactions, and keep track of all the other details involved in his care. At one point, up to seven different doctors were seeing him in the hospital on any given day. It became important to track every medication he was taking, what each one was for, and information such as his weight and other vital statistics. When he returned home, we also had to make sure someone checked on him and his wife every day, helped him stay on schedule with his medications, and recorded his diet, mood, and weight. We initially used Apple Notes, a shared iCalendar, multiple text threads, and a weekly call between the three of us. The mental load was huge. If we needed to find information from the previous week, we had to scroll through pages of Apple Notes to locate it. We also struggled to keep the rest of the family updated. Before my dad passed away, I started using Claude Code and Codex to build a simple tool that would keep everything organized and searchable. It also displayed trends in areas such as his mood, appetite, and vital signs, and included a calendar showing who was covering which days and times. The tool was still fairly basic when he passed away. Afterward, we encountered the administrative headaches involved in closing out his estate. It was far more complicated than we expected. We thought having a will, power of attorney, and other documents meant we were prepared, but we were wrong. I began integrating those lessons—and the things we learned not to do—into the final product, Eldercare Log: eldercarelog.com. I built the final tool with Claude helping draft a PRD, which I then handed to Codex for the coding work. It took a few weeks of refining the product with Codex. The tool is hosted on Vercel, with Supabase and Stripe on the backend, and includes the security features I built into it. It is the tool I wish had existed when my brothers and I were going through this journey before my dad’s passing. Step-by-step: 1. I coordinated my dad’s doctor appointments, medications, vital statistics, and other care details with my two brothers while he was in and out of the hospital. 2. We tracked his medications, their purposes, his weight, diet, mood, appetite, and other vital signs while he was at home. 3. We coordinated daily visits and coverage using Apple Notes, a shared iCalendar, text threads, and a weekly call. 4. I used Claude Code and Codex to start building a searchable tool that organized his care information and showed simple trends. 5. I added a calendar to track which family member was covering each day and time. 6. After my dad passed away, I incorporated what we learned from handling his estate, including the things we wished we had known earlier. 7. I used Claude to draft a PRD, then gave it to Codex to handle the coding work and refined the product with Codex over several weeks. 8. I built the final tool with Vercel, Supabase, and Stripe on the backend.

I built a digital Second Brain after trying several approaches, including OpenBrain and LLM Wiki. OpenBrain and LLM Wiki are useful frameworks for building a digital brain. The theory is solid: flat Markdown files, AI-first conventions, and an ingestion pipeline that turns raw inputs into searchable knowledge. But when applied in practice, the process can be bumpy and may require adjustments—or an entirely different approach. I adapted the ideas to fit how I actually think and work. I kept what worked, discarded what didn’t, and built my own digital brain. The result is documented in a single file containing everything an AI needs to understand, maintain, or rebuild the system from scratch. Step-by-step: 1. I tried several digital-brain frameworks, including OpenBrain and LLM Wiki. 2. I evaluated their approaches, including flat Markdown files, AI-first conventions, and an ingestion pipeline for turning raw inputs into searchable knowledge. 3. I identified where the frameworks were difficult to apply in practice and adjusted my approach. 4. I kept the ideas that worked for me, discarded what didn’t, and built a digital brain suited to how I think and work. 5. I documented the system in a single file so an AI can understand, maintain, or rebuild it from scratch.

I had a bad workplace experience, so I built Doris: a saucy but loving anonymous AI aunt who remembers the tea, protects storytellers, and warns others. I built Spill Tea with Doris, an anonymous AI workplace confessional for conversations people cannot really have on LinkedIn: the bad manager, the inexplicable reorg, the coworker who somehow survives every layoff, and the meeting that should probably be entered into evidence. Doris does something more interesting than simply listen. She remembers the tea—and, carefully, spills it. The problem I wanted to solve was not really “chat with an AI.” Most AI conversations are disposable, but workplace stories are not. They accumulate companies, people, reorganizations, layoffs, recurring behaviors, management decisions, and institutional weirdness. At the same time, people are understandably reluctant to talk openly about their employers because a sufficiently specific story can identify its author. I designed Doris around a different idea: retain the knowledge without retaining the storyteller’s identity. Someone visits [spillteawithdoris.com](https://spillteawithdoris.com) and tells Doris what happened at work. The application is built in Next.js and deployed through Vercel. The conversation goes to an AI model with Doris’s personality and behavioral rules. Redis handles temporary conversational context, while Neon Postgres and Prisma maintain the structured, longer-lived pieces of the story—companies, people, events, and their relationships. Rather than treating every conversation as one giant transcript, the application extracts useful information and connects it to the larger story of a company. That creates the second half of the experience. When another visitor asks Doris, “Have you heard anything about working at Company X?”, she can draw upon what previous visitors have told her. But she does not simply retrieve someone’s confession and repeat it. The system separates what is useful about a story from what could identify the person who told it. Names, exact teams, precise dates, unusual job titles, and other unnecessarily identifying details do not need to travel with the underlying observation. Doris can instead recognize that she has heard several stories involving reorganizations, unusual management turnover, or a particular cultural complaint. Then Doris tells the story herself, in Doris’s voice. She might say that she’s “heard some tea” about a company, explain the general pattern, distinguish something she’s heard once from something that appears repeatedly, and avoid pretending anonymous reports are established facts. Visitors get useful institutional memory without being handed the breadcrumbs needed to identify an individual employee. Public information can provide a second layer of context. If appropriate, Doris can search for publicly available information about a company and compare it with what people have privately described. Those sources remain conceptually separate: what Doris can verify publicly, what Doris has heard privately, and what Doris herself infers should never become the same thing. The result is deliberately a little strange. It is an anti-LinkedIn. LinkedIn is where thousands of individual experiences are polished until every company sounds wonderful and every departure is an exciting new chapter. Doris works in the opposite direction. One anonymous story may just be a story. Ten people independently telling Doris versions of the same story start to describe a workplace. And Doris remembers. She just doesn’t need to remember who told her. Step-by-step: 1. I built a Next.js application and deployed it through Vercel at spillteawithdoris.com. 2. I defined Doris’s personality and behavioral rules for the AI model. 3. I added Redis to manage temporary conversational context. 4. I created a Neon Postgres database and used Prisma to model Company, Person, Story, and Event relationships. 5. I built an extraction layer that converts conversations into structured observations, removes unnecessary identifying information, and associates the knowledge with the appropriate company. 6. I built retrieval so Doris can find relevant prior observations when someone asks about a company. 7. I had the AI synthesize those observations in Doris’s voice instead of quoting or exposing the original submissions. 8. When appropriate, I let Doris search publicly available company information while keeping public sources, private reports, and Doris’s inferences conceptually separate.

Every RSVP tool I found wanted a monthly subscription to collect a few hundred yes-or-no answers, and none would return my data in a format I could use. So I built my own with Claude Code. The RSVP system is small: a form deployed on Vercel and embedded into our wedding website. We also emailed the direct link because plenty of guests might never visit the site. The form asks for more than a yes-or-no response. It collects meal choices, dietary restrictions, and plus-ones. Every submission adds a row to a Google Sheet through the Sheets API. That sheet ended up mattering more than the app. Months later, when it was time to create the seating chart, every guest was already represented in clean, structured rows that I could give to a completely different tool. For seating, I opened the same sheet in Claude and wrote out the rules in plain English: who had to sit together, who could not sit anywhere near each other, which relatives needed a quiet corner, and which friends could anchor a table of people who did not know anyone else. Claude produced a first draft that respected those constraints, along with an interactive board where I could drag people between tables. Step-by-step: 1. Tell Claude Code which fields you want on the RSVP form and have it build the front end and back end. Have Claude deploy it to Vercel. 2. Set up a Google Cloud service account, enable the Google Sheets API, and share the sheet with the service account’s email address. Configure each submission to append a row. 3. Embed the form on your wedding website and email the direct link separately. Some people will never open the website. 4. Ask for everything you will eventually need, not just attendance. Your caterer and venue will want meal counts and dietary restrictions, and going back to collect that information later is miserable. 5. When it is time to seat people, point Claude at the same sheet and write your rules in plain language: who must sit together, who cannot sit together, who needs a quiet table, and who can anchor a table of strangers. 6. Have Claude generate a first draft based on those rules, then move people yourself. This works anywhere you have a public form collecting data and a private tool that needs to reason about it. Put a spreadsheet between them instead of building one app that tries to do both. The form stays simple, and whatever you build six months later can read from the same place.

I open Pulse and click Pull AM Brief or Pull PM Brief, search for a topic, or paste in an article link. That triggers a call to Claude, which scans for the five most relevant marketing, AI, and CPG stories that day. I choose one story and expand it into a full seven-slide carousel. Claude writes all the copy according to our brand’s specific editorial rules. I can then generate AI imagery for each slide. The final slide gets a custom scene generated with our actual logo built into it, so it feels native to the story instead of looking like a generic closing card. Once the carousel is built, I run it through a scoring system that evaluates factors such as how surprising the opening is and how likely people are to share it. If a slide scores low, the system automatically rewrites it until it passes. Finally, it generates the caption, a call to action, and a LinkedIn post, and I download everything ready to publish. Step-by-step: 1. I open Pulse and select Pull AM Brief, Pull PM Brief, a topic search, or an article link. 2. Claude scans for the five most relevant marketing, AI, and CPG stories of the day. 3. I select one story and expand it into a seven-slide carousel. 4. Claude writes the carousel copy according to our brand’s editorial rules. 5. I generate AI imagery for each slide, including a custom final-slide scene with our actual logo built into it. 6. I run the carousel through the scoring system, which evaluates the opening’s surprise and the likelihood that people will share it. 7. The system rewrites any low-scoring slide until it passes. 8. I generate the caption, a call to action, and a LinkedIn post, then download everything ready to publish.